- My name is Nick Ford. I am a pastor in my home town of Stafford,Ct. I was raised by two amazing God loving parents, who always told me about how much Jesus loves me. I came to know Jesus as my personal savior when I was eight years old and for the next seven years God slowly worked on me until brought me to the point where I wanted to be all in for Jesus. So as a sophmore in high school I dedicated my life to Jesus and its been a wild ride! When I was a senior in high school God called me to ministry so when I graduated I attended Word of Life Bible Institute for one year. And was then called back home to work as a church intern in a local church in my home town. Following my internship year God brought me across town to another little church in need of a Youth Pastor.I have only been here for little over a year, but God has done some amazing things in me and through this ministry. We have a long way to go and a lot of growing to do. But God has blessed this Rural Youth Pastor, and I hope he'd use me to be a blessing to you too.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Sorry it has been almost a whole TWO MONTHS since I lost posted but I have been a tad busy. As you probably know I am now a student at the Word Of Life Bible Institute. An I have to tell you guys it is amazing up here, I am so amazed at what God can do in the lives of his children. So to review briefly what has happened, this is officially the end of our third week of classes. And we have studied the book of James, Evangelism, and Genesis 1-11. As well as theology and the old testament and I have to say I am learning a whole lot and being convicted of a lot of things. The biggest thing that has really convicted me in my relatively short stay here is evangelism. Reaching those who do not know Jesus Christ as their personal savior, an as we started that class the Holy Spirit just gave me a "gentle" nudge an I was mortified inside. We have been commissioned as Christ's followers to reach the lost. An I have been so busy wondering what God was going to do FOR me rather then what God wants to do WITH me. And right as he convicted me of that I just had to stop and pray to the Almighty. An I just begged him to change my heart, make it more like his own, fill it with his love and urgency for the heavenly agenda. To shape me an use me as he desires so that his will may be done not my own. An I can not wait to reach out to the lost, to often I see my friends status's on face book and the like are just filled with hopelessness and pain and suffering and it tears me up inside to see that an I know people will hate me as they hate my savior. But I know that if I don't live a testimony for my savior and witness to the lost they will stay in the suffering of the world an I can't live with the self imposed hardening of the heart anymore. I pray that the Lord makes me more like him each and ever day. An I pray he will use me and strengthen me to do his will, an I pray the same for you guys.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Hi guys sorry that I haven't posted in awhile, well something crossed my mind today and I just had to express it. 76% of Americans claim to be Christan's' of one denomination or another, which is about 159 million. An even though this is a pretty dramatic drop in percentage from the 86% in 1990 it is still a fairly large number correct? Well another survey shows that the number of Americans who profess to be born again or saved number only 41%. Now were still thinking wow that's still pretty good I mean we're not the majority but we have a powerful influence in this country. And normally I would agree the numbers seem in our favor. But lets look at another set of numbers. 1% of Americans are homeless about 3.5 million, 14,500-17,500 people are illegally trafficked into the States as slaves. In 2004 4% of Americas children were orphans, over 2.9 million! I could go on an on but I think you get my point. How can there be such a "high" number of born-again believers in this country, but yet there be such pain and suffering. See we may be large in number but so many of us have adopted a small voice. So few of us care for the widow, the orphan, or the homeless. How can that be! now before I start sounding like I'm talking down to you I'm not. I am just as guilty of this as any other, we have grown so distant from the people. The people are our mission field, that is where God wants us among the hurt and needy. Now every man, women, and child hurts in some way for we have so many scars an a emptiness that can only be filled by Christ. But we have been filled we have had our scars treated an although we will always suffer we are now in the great healers hands. And he has told us to spread his word. With our actions an our words. I challenge you today, don't let the needy become far from us but let us hear their wounded plea. Christ heard our plea and he has heard theirs, lets not keep them waiting any longer.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Sorry for being such a slacker in my posts as always I seem to be either really busy or really lazy. Any who I recently got back from an event called Soul fest which was an amazing four days of worship and just plain ol' rock and roll. And while I was there I bought a very interesting book that just called out to me. Its called "The enemy within." and the topic of the book was addressing repeating sin. Which is something I personally struggle with an I thought what a good book I should get it. An as I was flipping through I say the dedication was the following "For Nicholas, my son for victory! An I was amazed an I said to myself alright alright Lord I can take a hint. So I bought the book and just finished reading it an I most say it made many good points. An I just wanted to share some of them its the battle we face every day, the flesh battling the spirit. Swarming in force to keep us from intimacy with our Lord. It really proved itself to be true cause as I'm trying to read this my mind is flying and distracted an I'm thinking wow the author is right if I was reading any other book I'd be totally attentive been when I'm reading for the Lord I'm under attack. this week look at how you are being attacked whenever you live for the Lord. For the enemy strikes the hardest when we are in the spirit.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
So today I read a quite intteresting story in my mornings devotional. The author talked about a women in a store who plowed through everyone to get the items she wanted. While wearing the appropriate T-shirt that said "Its all about me!!" No the author then goes on to talk about Romans 9:1-5 where Paul talks about how he would give up his salvation if others could be saved. which really shows the humility that we all need and should all be desiring in our lives. Christ came down from heaven to be the son of a carpenter to die on a cross for the lives of us sinful humans. This right here is the perfect example of love and humiltiy the example we all should be trying to reflect. I know I personally have trouble with be humble and more so loving those who have wronged me. But all I have to do is remember this God loved me in my sin can't I forgive someone who sin's towards me are so insignificant towards the sins against the almighty. Some times we do worry to much about ourselves and have this "Its all about me" mentality. We are called to share the message of God's love with those in the world, even those who have wronged us. And honestly how can we be angry at those who have wronged us when we have such love and promises that have been given to us. Lets throw away the "Its all about me" T-shirt and pick up "Its all about him" Tee.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Well guys I know that it has been a very long time since I have posted but as promised Nick is back. So a little run down of what I have been doing these past three weeks. The first week of my travels I was in New York at Word of Life Island. And let me tell you this was an amazing week of fellowship and praising the Lord. I made some awesome friend's in my counselor's and fellow TIers. The week after that I was in Philadelphia on a mission's trip where we ran a Vacation Bible School for two of the inner city churches. And again it was a great week of fellowship and praise an even better because on top of all that we got the chance to spread God's word but more detail's later. And the week after that I spent down in Florida with my parents, grand-parents, and family friends on a cruise. An I know in comparison between that week and the two before it its like wow big difference in focuses. But trust me it was just as spiritually fulfilling as the two weeks before that. So as promised more details about my travels, well on the Island God really blessed me because he started to show me the friends I had in his family. I mean this is personally something that has been really scaring me, I mean High school is over teen club is over an a whole bunch of other things. Everything I have know for the past twelve years is over an it feels like I will never really see my friends anymore. An I was praying in the middle of the night an I prayed God I feel so alone but your always with me and no matter who walks with me on Earth as long as I have you. And you know the amazing thing? The next day at church it seemed like everyone just came up and talked to me. An I couldn't help but be amazed at one God's answers to prayer but also his love that he cared enough to show me here is where your friends are. There right here with me, so I rambled but it was so amazing I had to share. So the week at the Island was a week of fellowship an it was AWESOME. Now it was also another chance for god to humble me. You see I am afraid some times I get a big head on my shoulders and think I'm some kinda of sage an extremely wise teen. Well at TI I was stunned to find I didn't even place in my area, and when I got the review sheets a couple of weeks later I found I did fairly well. its just that everyone else did really good at well. You see the thing I love about God is that he is never afraid to humble us for our benefit. An I find myself praying for God to humble me more and more so I can grow in humility an also the wisdom that God shows to me each time he humbles me. So any who on to Philadelphia this was an amazing experience as well because this week was a combo of living for God and seeing his works be done. It was amazing to see God work in the hearts of those children,teens, and adults.Now I should explain for one thing we were kept on our toes during this trip because nothing seemed to go as we thought it was suppose to. For the first church we had mainly little children around five and under. Also on one day ALL but three of the children left for a Field trip with the day care that was a part of the church. An I can say that God has a sense of humor when he answer's prayers because well the three that were left behind with us. Two of them were the children that I was praying for patience for because they were they troublemakers. So God thought it best to leave us alone with them an I have to say it worked I really don't remember them being to bad after that day when they got the attention and one on one time they needed. Now at the second church we had another curve ball thrown at us, the first day we went there we had only four kids. The group was mainly made up of adults and teens. So again another curve ball that I wasn't expecting but God's will was done . Now this situation was actually enjoyable to me because before we came down to do the trip I really wanted to run the teens class. But Joan one of our group letters really wanted me to stick with the big kids. Well after a couple of the curve balls I ended up being able to go help Joan with the teen class. And to my amazement on the last day of VBS Joan had nothing really prepared for the last lesson so i sat up on the churches balcony an I started flipping through my bible looking for some passages to help out Joan well when I showed her she just gave the lesson over to me. I got to deliver the message of salvation it was the coolest thing every. An also when we came down we brought three boxes of donated bibles to give to the churches. Well I saw those bibles fly off the 'shelves' it was amazing people just keep asking 'Can I have one?' and the second they found out they could they were gone it was so cool. And finally we come to the last part of my travels my week cruising. Now like I said before this was a week just as spiritually fulfilling as the first two weeks. Why you might ask well because i had given it to God. i might not have had fellowship with other believers or spread God's word but I was able to spend the majority of that week in intense prayer with my God. I would find a beautiful veiw of God's ocean an I would sit and just talk to him about my trouble's or blessing and sing praises to him and it was amazing. And you know what is awesome about our God? He is always there sitting and talking back and he even shows his blessing. No lie as I was sitting singing to God I saw a bunch of dolphins start jumping out of the water near our ship. it only made me praise louder. Well there is the summary of my three week travels, but trust me my journey with God isn't over not by a long shot. I might not travel to third world countries but I am a missionary and God has showed me my mission feild, an I am on my way!!!!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
So I am finally able to sit on the old "Nick-Top" (yes this is what I call my laptop) and post. So to catch you guys up I have been in New York for a week of praise,worship,and spiritual growth. As well as having a lot of good old fun and fellowship, I am really looking forward to the growth of these friendships. Now I would go into detail about all the lessons and spiritual leaps and bounds that I have gone through but I'm afraid it would take to long to do in one post so I will promise to sit down when I get the chance to go into better detail about my travels. As some of you may know I'm now in Philadelphia to help run a VBS for two churches here. An I am really excited because I get to hang with some really great brothers and sisters in Christ. But also because I get to see God's word spread and his message reach the heart's of many I AM EXCITED. Please pray for us and for the hearts' of those we witness to.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
It is coming to the point where in a few days I will be leaving for close to a month of traveling. Now at this point I will be unable to post for a majority of it, but fear not I will be keeping careful records of my adventures, as well as the many wonderful experiences and people I will meet on my travels. I hope that all I experience will be a learning experience that will help prepare me for my future ministries. But back to the present, in today's devotional I read of extending our hands to those in need. We have been so blessed in our lives and we have a calling to share what God has blessed us with to those who need it. Now the topic of today's devotional was truly God inspired because just yesterday during a bible study the pastor talked about going to the people who are hurting. Rather then getting them to come to us, now this pastor in my opinion is quite blunt but he makes a good point. How lazy we have become in this day and age, we always expect those who are in need should come to us. But this isn't the case we are called to go to them, and to work with those who are hurting. But there is the flip side to this issue those who will go, but they'll go half way around the world and no one is working with those who are hurting right in front of us. We as believers in Christ are called to love and to share the message of God's love. But lets not forget there are uncounted numbers of people around us who need that love, let us not turn a deaf ear towards them. Extend a hand of love to someone today.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I hate when I look through my past posts an I can see which day I was more open to the Holy Spirit and the other day's when I'm not. Every day should be an active ministry an wonderful experience with my savior. But what I do is I let the events of the day swarm into my every thought an I let the urgency of God's call become more and more muffled. And this is something that I hate because after experiencing so much intimacy with our savior. Even a day where I'm not on fire for him just drives my heart down into depression. To be with God on day and then to self separate us the next, this most be a fraction of what Hell itself feels like. To be separated from God, it is a horrible horrible feeling. Live each day for our heavenly father let him fill you up with is spirit and his will. because there is nothing better then that intimacy. And nothing worse then looking back at the day and realizing we didn't make it a day for God. We can not walk with the Father and not desire him all the time. There is nothing wrong with experiencing the thing's we enjoy in this world. But if we just drown ourselves in them we make them idols this is displeasing to our Lord. God wants us to be happy an enjoy life, but he wants us to enjoy it with him and for his glory. And what is better then doing the things we love, with the one we love.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Today in this mornings devotional I read in James about being a doer of the word not just a hearer alone. This is a topic that many of us, including myself on many occasions, need to really apply to our lives. How often do we sit in church or listen to a speakers sermon and in the days to come forget the topics they were speaking of. Now I do mean remember what they were talking about specifically but the lessons that they taught us from the Lord's Word. We as God's servants and students most concern ourselves with not just remembering what we have been taught. But to put into practice what God's word has said, this is something we often struggle with but its something that we do need to work on.
Monday, June 28, 2010
So today I read about something in my devotional that was truly amazing. it talked about that in our weakness, we can take delight because God is strong. And that is something that is very encouraging to me personally, because a lot of the time I feel very weak or unable to be an effective servant for my Lord. And today's devotional reminded me of something I was thinking about yesterday night. I was thinking why are a lot of us afraid to witness or to teach and share God's word. That part is probably the easiest part of our whole ministry, why? Because all we have to do is open our mouths and God does the rest. How many times in the bible does God calm our worries by saying that you don't need to worry about what you are going to say. Because it will be me speaking through you to my people. And I thought this insight really fit with the issue of our weakness and God's strength in it. Because personally every time I teach my hear races and I feel almost faint, but then this assuredness washes over me an I know its not me speaking. The Holy spirit empowers us when we speak and witness, we needed worry about what to say. But only to make sure we open our mouths to let those word's come out.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Now I titled today's post as I did because a heck of a lot happened today and it'd take way to long to come up with a fancy titled to describe it. So this morning in my devotionals I read about showing the love of Jesus Christ and the effects of it long before we start talking about the love of Jesus. Now this is a topic that is quite eye opening when we really think about it. How often do we encounter people who are very standoffish towards what we say about Christ's love for them. But when they see it world's are opened before our eyes. And the author went into detail about a situation where those in the church in this particular area were constantly being insulted and persecuted because of their belief's. But then the Christian's did something amazing, they showed God's love in their lives and shared it with the world. They became active leaders in the town and soon that town saw what was inside of them, and they began to really wonder. Hey what did those guys say about their Jesus? An it is just something that really related back to my life because I could point out. Each time I talked about my love for Christ and what he did for me, and people's responses to that. But I also can point to where I showed an expressed God's love in my life and it really did turn some heads. So that's something to remember during our daily lives, that when we say and express God's word it has a powerful effect on this earth an in the people around us. Now I most share a praise that has shown nothing but God's amazing work in our lives today. You see in a couple of weeks I an a group of teens will be heading to Philadelphia to run a Vacation Bible School. Well something that concerned us as we made plans was, would these inner-city children even have bibles? So after a bit of thought and pray the decision was made to ask to borrow bibles from those in the church who had them. But also to ask for donations of old or spare bibles that we could bring down to the children and the Church's there. Well today when I left my house there were two bibles three new testaments. This afternoon that box was STUFFED full of bibles I couldn't fit anymore in. And that's not where it end's, today on my way home from church I stopped at the used book store in town to see if I could find some bibles I could buy and donate. Well what I found was a whole box full of bibles with this message on it "Bibles to new homes FREE." Man I loved that sentence, so that added another five or more bibles and new testaments to the bunch. AND my Pastor, and two different church members have offered to send a BOX of bibles EACH. Can this get any better I think to myself I was expecting to maybe fill the box at best but I was not expecting this. And there are still more bibles on the way via mail orders. It is just unbelievable to see how God takes care of everything that is needed. So any who after this great praise I also spent time in Sunday school discussing a very interesting topic. Especially for a modern believe living in a scientific viewed society. Well what we did was we watched a video that goes over arguments for and against intelligent design and really helps educate young believers about how even science really points to intelligent design. And arms the younger generation with information to defend itself against the scientific viewed society members. And finally, I know this post is kinda long bear with me, we get to the main service. Well besides the constant never ending love of giving praise to the Father above. But I also got to hear about a topic that isn't talked about to often in the church, anger. An I can say it was a very encouraging sermon, because it really helped bring to light some of that information that we store away about what the bible has to say about anger. That there is nothing wrong with anger, but its how we react to anger is what causes us to sin or not. And now I have a lot to remember the next time I am faced with a situation where I wish to explode in anger rather then love.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Today in my morning devotionals I read of being prepared for the day that Jesus will come to earth in the second coming. And not to follow those making predictions of his coming or the end of the World. For the bible clearly states that only God the Father knows the day and the hour. So we as Christians most live Godly lives so that we will always be prepared for the second coming. Also today I read of Peter explaining to the fellow believing Jews the importance of witnessing to gentiles. And that God loves all of humanity and we most share our love to them all. Very important reminders to us in our daily walks with Christ. Live EVERY day for God's glory and honor, and that EVERY human being is God's creation. he loves them so we most to.
Friday, June 25, 2010
So I just came home from another bible study. An its really starting to dawn on me how high of an opinion I have of myself. Since I spend every morning in God's word an in prayer I have come to think of myself as something as a spiritual prodigy. But what I have come to see more and more often as I am around my fellow believers. Is that I have so much to learn an I am far from this mass of wisdom an insight I for some reason feel that I am. Which really goes back to what we were talking about in lesson, a lot of it was about humility. An I'm so glad that God has shown me my faulted thinking and has humbled me. And more so that he has given me many friend's in him as well as teacher's an example's I can look towards. As the bible says never deny correction but be happy for it. An all I can say is that I am so happy that God is raising a powerful force in this generation's believers. And that he is giving me many wiser men to turn to for wisdom and Godly council.
So today in my devotional I was reading about an interesting topic that I honestly have never thought of before. The author talked about the tenth commandment "Do not covet..."Exodus 20:17. Now its a commandment we all understand but don't give a lot of thought to unless we're having a difficult time with envy. But the author went into more detail and explained that as the tenth commandment we really don't give it a lot of thought. But its actually the desire for what isn't ours that lead to the fall of man. Eve desired the apple, but more so that knowledge, she coveted what wasn't hers and sin entered the world. An I'm sitting reading this and I'm amazed because I hadn't thought of that as a specific example. But the author goes into more detail and he talks about the tenth commandment being the commandment that if broken leads to all others. Now I really stepped back from the reading at this point, because I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I'm thinking okay sure adultery,murder,and stealing I can understand that but the other commandments? I didn't see it, so I stopped and I prayed and asked God for some insight and wisdom in my confusion. So I started thinking about how covetousness could be the straw that broke the camel's back in the world of sin. An it slowly began to make sense, well we make idols because we covet our 'freedom of belief' over desiring our God. We covet our desires and our will's over the respect and honor we most show our parents. We covet our time instead of giving it to God on the day of rest. We covet our anger rather then God's peace and that's why we use his name in anger. An it hit me, we covet what WAS ours but is now God's. What we're coveting is our old lives. When we accept Christ as our savior and give our lives to him that's the thing. We give OUR lives to him, they are no longer ours. Our time is now God's,our respect is now God's,our anger is now God's, our worship is now God's. See we're coveting something that is no longer ours and that's were it becomes sin.So today's devotional really did give me an interesting insight I have never had before. Let us not covet our old lives, but let us desire God an his glory.So the second part of today's post has to do with Peter's vision of the unclean animal's. Now maybe you know the story maybe you don't, well its found in Acts 10. Any who it gives us the reminder that everyone is God's creation. And that means we are to love them and to witness to them. which a lot of the time is difficult because you take one look at them and your afraid or look down on them.But we are given a calling of loving other's an I know that's hard because of the surface but God sees into their hearts. An if God could forgive them and love them, how can we not.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
So I got back from a bible study tonight, which is always fun love talking with my fellow believers and growing spiritually. But there was something that really stuck with me as I was there. one of the speakers we were listening to talked about our lives being like a vapor. An I'm amazed thinking "I could die tonight." An I felt something that kinda frightened me, that part of me WAS frightened. Now I know a christian afraid of death whats up with that? But what was happening was I realized that one I have honestly no clue what death is like, an a lot of the time when we are scared of something its because we don't understand it. But then I thought well I know where I'm going does it matter. Then I realized, it does very much. Because we are given a choice on this earth whether we go to Heaven or Hell. An its just kinda awe inspiring to think that we who have no control of our existence on this earth. Have been given control of how we'll spend the next.So I sat for a bit and thought about this an I realize that why so many people are afraid of death is because we feel like we don't have control. And their half right, we have no control of how long we spend on this earth. But we have been given a choice to determine where we spend the next. And while I'll admit I'm nervous about the lack of control I have on this earth. I know I don't need to worry because I've been given control to make a choice. An I made mine and his name in Jesus. Which brings me to the next section of this post. Another topic was weighting on my heart as I left the bible study. For the speaker had been talking about giving your everything to God. Which is a great topic to speak on no doubt, but it was something I thought about on the ride home was. Not just that we give our everything, but the way we give it. See while i was driving home I noticed the posted speed limit and I checked my dashboard and saw I was going over so I took my foot off the gas. And you know what I did, nothing, i just coasted till I was at the appropriate speed. Now how many of us Christian's do this in our relationships with God. We look at what we're doing and check to see what's 'posted' in the bible. And we realize we need to make some changes. So we stop going forward with what is wrong, but we just coast through it. No what is wrong with that picture in your opinion. If a cop had noticed my speed and decided to pull me over I wouldn't coast to a stop, NO. I'd have my foot on that brake and be pulling over. Well God tells us specifically to STOP and we slow down, we coast. See there is a reason that God tells us not to do something because its harmful to us and our relationship with God. We are called to stop, to get out of whatever we're doing in our lives that is displeasing to God. Not to slow down till it ends, but to make ourselves right in our relationship with Christ. We need to obey his commandments, so remember God's 'Rules of Life's Road' and stop coasting through sin.
So today I will also be starting a self set challenge of mine. To daily read a bible verse from a verse pack I got from my youth group but never used during the year. And by the end of the week have it memorized. Lets see how this works folks cause my memory is awful.
So this will be the first of hopefully many posts of my daily experiences in God's word. Now today in my devotional I read of something it when we think about it is quite frightening for us believers. As followers of Christ we aren't assured greatness and fame on this earth. In fact the Bible talks about the fact multiple times that we will be hated and peresecuted. Now this could be veiwed as some what depressing. Our actions for the Lord may not get noticed and we could DIE. Well yes there is that possibilty, but I thought about something when i was reading those verses. Who cares if my works bring ME greatness or bring me harm. Jesus says in Matthew 5:11 "Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and falsely say every kind of evil against you because of me." We are suppose to take delight when we persecuted, why? Because it shows we're getting God's message out there and what is better then that. Let's not care about pain or fortune, but only for our Lord's glory. Then second part of today's post comes from Acts 9. now if your big on or good at scripture memorizing you may remember that this is the chapter of Saul's conversion. An I just love this chapter because it reminds me that God can touch the hearts of even the most unsuspecting people. In fact I knew a man who before he found the Lord had a lot of issues. He was very drowning in the world but then something amazing happened, he found the Lord. And those who knew him before his conversion were just in shock at the change in this man's life. He lived everyday for his Lord and savior, and he truly was a great example to our church. He recently passed away, but the extraordinary thing was you could easily see that God had a plan an a reason for his passing. Because after his death I have seen so much more real praise. I see more and more people not just singing the songs, but singing praise to their God. An I think he would be happy to see that his last action on earth, could be used for God's glory. so let's remember this, that when God is in some one's heart there can be nothing but true change. So don't judge by worldly appearances but by their love for God.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
This is a link to a great man of God who i can call a friend of mine. What this man is doing is amazing and really makes the heart yearn for this kind of passion for God in our live's.Why not take a similair journey. Start your odyssey today, check this out.http://adamsodyssey.wordpress.com/
Greetings, now there are thousands of blog sites out there. And to be honest I have a few on other sites. But I wished to do something special with this blog. I wanted it to be a place where i can talk about my daily struggle's with temptation and my relationship with Christ. This is also were i intend to add links to my favorite men and women, as well as organizations, of God. I'll also throw in a link to my Youtube posts once in a while for some feedback on what i'm talking about. I hope that this blog with be a useful tool and a way to sharpen my faith against other believers. But to warn you i'm not sure how much you'll enjoy my ramblings. But hey i warned you.